LinkedIn Influencer Bernard Marr published this post originally on LinkedIn.

Did you know that public speaking is often rated the number one thing people are afraid of?

But while getting up on a stage in front of an audience can definitely be nerve wracking, many people find striking up a conversation one-on-one just as intimidating.

Maybe it's the CEO of your company, a new colleague, the guy in the mail room, the girl from IT, or a stranger in the street.

Whomever you want to talk to, there's a way to strike up a conversation. And the best news is that it gets easier with practice.

Try these conversation starters to talk to absolutely anybody:

SEE ALSO: 8 Of The Biggest Networking Turn-Offs

1. Skip the small talk

"What's up with this weather?" and "How 'bout them [insert local sports team]?" are as bad as cheesy pick-up lines when it comes to starting a conversation. Avoid tired topics. Every situation is unique, so you should be able to find a unique conversation starter.

2. Ask for their opinion

Everyone has one! For someone you don't know well, start with light subjects like the food, the music, the atmosphere, etc. "Do you like your Margaritas with salt or without? Do you watch horror movies? Do you like this song?" It's probably best to stay away from really sticky subjects like politics unless you already know the person very well.

3. Ask for their advice or recommendations

This works very well when commenting on someone's outfit or accessories, as in "What a great tie! Where did you get it?" or on the food, as in, "Everything looks good. What are you having?"

This is it! The final season of Friends and the last time I get to ruthlessly judge and rate Rachel's many outfits. Season 10 was slightly shorter than the other seasons (with only 17 episodes, compared to the regular 24-25), so it's slightly less time for Rachel to grace us with her style. Like every season, season 10 has its sartorial ups and downs, although it's the most moderate of all the seasons: the highs are moderate, as are the lows. Nothing is truly extraordinary nor is anything truly vomit-inducing. Re-watching the season, my only note is that after everything, it's hard to believe Rachel would get back together with Ross, not because of the "we were on a break thing" but that guy is friggin crazy. Without further ado, here's every single one of Rachel's outfits in Season 10 of Friends, ranked from best to worst.

Season 10, Episode 14

These are actually, hands down, the most awful boots I think I have ever seen in my life.

Season 10, Episode 15

I don’t even really know what this is. The Fifth Element meets Friends, I guess?

Season 10, Episode 10

This is a mess. I feel like Rachel should apologize to us for this.

Today, only a few actors make $1 million per half-hour episode of television. And they all happen to be starring on CBS's "The Big Bang Theory."

The only other time that was accomplished was in 2002 when the cast of "Friends" successfully negotiated their historic $1 million-per-episode pay deals.

How did they pull that off? The simple answer is that all six cast members negotiated together. That meant that each one would be paid the same or they would all leave the hit show. 

But there's so much more to the story, like how did they come up with collective bargaining? And how did others involved in "Friends" feel about it? Plus, how much would their $1 million be worth today?

Here's everything you need to know about the "Friends" stars' historic $1 million-per-episode salary negotiation:

SEE ALSO: Here are the biggest salaries of TV's top stars

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All the circumstances were just right.

When the cast won their $1 million/episode salaries (or $22 million per season), the show had just recovered from seasons of declining ratings and was enjoying its highest-rated season in five years. But the stars really wanted to do other things, which meant the show was close to ending. It would end up running just two more seasons, but no one at the time knew exactly. And if NBC felt it could get at least one more year of "Friends," it would take that. The network needed all the time it could get. None of the shows NBC produced in eight years showed the ability to replace "Friends."

That year, "Friends" was averaging 24.7 million viewers a week — about two million viewers more than any other show in television. It also rated highly with young viewers, the kind advertisers always want.

To make the timing even more critical, salary negotiations were still open as the show had just four scripts left in the season. The writers had to know if they needed to write a proper series ending.

It was also getting terribly close to network upfronts, which are annual presentations of the season's upcoming schedule to potential advertisers. If NBC didn't have "Friends" on its schedule, it would've been disastrous for advertising sales.

The odds were stacked against NBC and looking really good for the show's stars.

David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston took a loss so they could band with their costars.

According to accounts of the events, the "Friends" cast didn't just decide to band together for a million dollars in 2002. They had been negotiating their salaries together since the show's third season. But that required two of the stars to take initial pay cuts.

As the central couple of the show, David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston made more money than the others. After the hit first season, Schwimmer was being courted with movie offers and his agents felt it was time to renegotiate his "Friends" contract. But he had enough forethought to convince his costars to act as a mini-union and insist on being paid equally.

That may have cost Schwimmer and Aniston initially, but who knew how long they'd stay the most popular actors on the show. By negotiating as a group, they not only gained leverage, but some job security. The show could easily drop one actor, but how could they write around the loss of all of them?

According to various sources, here's how much the cast made each season per episode:

Season one: $22,500

Season two: $22,500 to $40,000

Season three (when they began collective bargaining): $75,000

Season four: $85,000

Season five: $100,000

Season six: $125,000

Seasons seven, eight: $750,000

Seasons nine, ten: $1,000,000

"A million dollars an episode is kinda ridiculous."—"Friends" cocreator

Not everyone believed that the "Friends" cast deserved their $1 million-per-episode haul.

Last year, "Friends" cocreator Marta Kauffman called the salary "inflated."

"A million dollars an episode is kinda ridiculous," Kaufmann said. "Let's be honest, that's a lot of money."

Star Matt LeBlanc was also asked that year if he believed that the cast was worth the hefty salary. He believed that "worth" had no real bearing on the topic.

"I’ve been asked this question before, but phrased as, do I think we were worth it? Were we worth $1 million? To me, that’s such a strange question," LeBlanc told The Huffington Post.

"It’s like, well, that’s irrelevant. Are you worth it? How do you put a price on how funny something is? We were in a position to get it. If you’re in a position in any job, no matter what the job is — if you’re driving a milk truck or installing TVs or an upholsterer for a couch — if you’re in a position to get a raise and you don’t get it, you’re stupid. You know what I mean? We were in a position and we were able to pull it off. 'Worth it' has nothing to do with it."

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The INSIDER Summary:

• The children in the 1990s television show, "Friends," are all grown up.
• From Phoebe's triplets to Ross and Rachel's Emma, this is how the children look like in the present.

Nothing will make you feel older than realizing that the kids from Friends are, in fact, all grown up. While most true fans have been in denial that the show has been off-air as long as it has — 12 years, to be exact — the world has continued moving forward and people have continued aging along with it. And if anything captures the injustice of time's inevitable march forward, it's the fact that the kids from Friends are all adults now.

The children of our favorite characters in the show were like the unsung heroes of Friends. From Phoebe's adorable triplets to Ross's only son Ben, there was so much cuteness present in each of their characters. Now, those cute little kids are grown up — and we're just older. Sadly, it's the natural progression of life, folks. We can pretend the golden age of Friends was just a hop, skip, and a jump away, but looking at these pictures will put it all back into perspective for you. The kids of Friends are basically teenagers/adults now, and the world spins madly on, and oh my God, is it time to die yet?

...Anyway. Let's take a look at the kids from Friends as they appear now.

Cole Sprouse As Ben Geller-Willick

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Ben may have been the cutest of all the children on the show. His relationship with Ross provided for some pretty sweet father-son bonding moments. If there ever is a reunion special episode, I'm hoping against all odds they can bring Cole Sprouse back to reprise his role.

Noelle And Cali Sheldon As Emma Geller-Green

The adorable younger half-sister to Ben, Emma, was actually played by twin girls. No, not Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen — Noelle and Cali Sheldon had the honor of sharing the role. The girls are still active in the acting game, and have had a few small roles since Friends went off the air.

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Meet Noelle and Cali sheldon, the twins who took turns playing Ross and Rachel's baby pic.twitter.com/VG6er6DQC0

Allisyn Ashley Arm, Dante Pastula, And Sierra Marcoux As Phoebe's Triplets

The three triplets were played by three different babies — none of whom are related in real life. Although Allisyn Ashley Arm who played Leslie Buffay did continue acting, Frank Jr. Jr. and Chandler Buffay, played by Dante Pastula and Sierra Marcoux haven't done much since (though Pastula did voice a character in The Polar Express, and him and Marcoux both appeared in the same short film together in 2007, Ablution.) Here's what Arm looks like now:

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Ran into a friend at the corner of Barham and Cahuenga! #HeyThere10ftTallAstridCloverpic.twitter.com/8uXK4GpJHj

 And here's what Pastula looks like now:

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You're special😘😁 pic.twitter.com/hlGPRWHcdA

 Well, I hope this article makes you feel as old as I do. Sadly, we must admit there may never be an opportunity to see what became of these fictional kids. However, I also hope this article makes you excited for an all night marathon of Friends, because that's what I'll be doing.

Most of the time, it's pretty obvious when your coworkers like you. They'll smile at you and make an effort to seek you out in the office. They'll swing by your desk to chat, make lunch plans, or invite you to happy hour.

They'll act like friends, basically.

However, sometimes, the signs aren't as clear. Maybe you're new — or shy — and struggling to tell whether or not your colleagues accept you. It's important to be able to tell whether you're meshing in with the office culture.

Here are seven more subtle signs that your coworkers like you, even if it doesn't always feel like it:

1. You're self-aware

You know yourself pretty well. You acknowledge your weaknesses, but you don't harp on them. You're generally pretty honest and authentic.

Those are traits that might not seem like a big deal, but can go a long way when it comes to endearing you to your coworkers. While it might sometimes seem like fake flatterers often get ahead, in healthy work cultures genuineness is valued.

2. You're able to get colleagues to do favors for you

This sign is a bit counterintuitive, but it all boils down to the "Ben Franklin effect." You might think that doing favors for other people would make them like you. However, as Changing Minds notes, Franklin once wrote, "He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged."

Basically, the more favors colleagues do for you, the more they'll like you as they internally justify helping you to themselves.

3. You tend to mimic others

You don't want to creep people out by going too overboard on your copy cat behavior. However, as Business Insider previously reported, one NYU study found that "mirroring"— or copying someone's body language, gestures, and facial expressions — can actually make people like you more.

So if you consistently mimic the behavior of those around you at work, odds are they probably view you pretty positively.

4. You compliment people — but not too often

Giving compliments is a key strategy when attempting to establish a positive relationship.

However, you don't want to overdo it with flattery in the office. Complimenting people too frequently will make you look insincere.

As Shana Lebowitz previously reported for Business Insider, "positive comments will make more of an impact if you deliver them only occasionally."

5. You don't seek out attention

You might think that you need to constantly put yourself out there in order to win friends in the office. Interacting with others is crucial, but avoid becoming an attention hog.

Writing for Forbes, Travis Bradberry points out that, "You don't need to develop a big, extroverted personality to be likeable. Simply being friendly and considerate is all you need to win people over."

6. You're great with names

This is a subtle trick that you can use to make others like you at work — say your coworkers' names as often as possible.

In Inc., Larry Kim writes: "Let's face it — we're all huge narcissists and we all love the sound of our own name."

If you're great with names, you're probably making a great impression on those around you.

7. Your coworkers tell you about themselves

Establishing positive relationships in the office isn't entirely about how you come across. It's also about how you make those around you feel. This means demonstrating respect, asking the right questions, and showing a genuine interest in the lives of the individuals you work with.

If you find coworkers sharing their life stories with you, that's a great sign.

SEE ALSO: 7 signs you can't trust your coworkers

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The least Thanksgiving-oriented Thanksgiving episode features a key progression in the Ross and Rachel on-again-off-again saga. After their first kiss ever, Ross is forced to decide between Rachel and his then-girlfriend, Julie. Disaster strikes when Rachel discovers a pro-con list about her that Ross made.

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Money can create uncomfortable rifts in conversation, especially when the bill arrives at a restaurant. We've all experienced the awkwardness that settles in as everyone stares at it, silently wondering, "Who's going to take that?"

Here's another familiar dilemma: If you're out to dinner with a friend who makes a significantly lower salary than yourself, are you expected to step up and cover the whole bill? Should your friend offer to pay if they earn more?

The short answer: Absolutely not.

"Just because one person makes more money than the other, it's not expected that they cover the entire cost, or even more of the expenses," Diane Gottsman, national etiquette expert and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, told Business Insider. "They may offer to pay, but unless they suggest it, it should not be an assumption."

There are exceptions to the rule, however. While it can create undue tension within friendships for one party to always pick up the bill, it's sometimes expected of family members.

"Let's say you're taking your in-laws out and you're an older couple in your 30s and 40s. You and your [partner] are making a lot of money now, but your in-laws are not. In that case you would offer to pay," Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick, founder and president of The Etiquette School of New York, told Business Insider.

At the end of the day, honesty is the best policy in any situation. If your in-laws (or parents) feel uncomfortable or embarrassed by the gesture, go ahead and let them pick up the check or offer to split it, Napier-Fitzpatrick said.

And if a higher-earning friend suggests a restaurant out of your price range, speak up rather than feeling frustrated and going into debt over a meal, Gottsman said.

There are times where friends will offer to treat you — and vice versa — but the bottom line is that it should never be expected.

SEE ALSO: Here's how to split the restaurant bill in any situation

DON'T MISS: 13 smart 10-minute money decisions our coworkers wish they'd made sooner

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While many people are concerned about strangers hacking into their phones and computers, most hacking of social media apparently comes from people close to the user. According to a new study, one in five people report having surreptitiously gone into the Facebook account of a loved one.

This recent study was conducted by Wali Ahmed Usmani, a graduate student in computer science at the University of British Columbia. He and a team of researchers conducted a survey of 1,308 American adults and asked them if they had ever snooped on a family member, friend or romantic partner by accessing their Facebook account without their permission.

More than one-in-five (24%) of those surveyed answered they have. When asked if they ever had someone close to them access their Facebook without permission, 21% said they had.

The access without permission to Facebook accounts was accomplished by using the devices of the person whose account had been entered. Access was usually gained when the owner of the computer or phone left it on logged in to Facebook and then left the immediate area. Such things as passwords or PINS were not needed in gaining access.

While examining Facebook being accessed by insiders, researchers broke the motivation for doing so into five areas; fun, jealousy, curiosity, utility and animosity. While some reasons did not result in serious repercussions, others did.

The researchers found most of the time those who gained unauthorized access did something they thought was funny. They would change the user’s profile picture, change the person’s status or enter what they thought was a humorous post. But the consequences were more serious when motivated by jealousy. One of the paper’s authors, Professor Ivan Beschastnikh, said those whose motivation is jealousy plan their actions carefully and usually remain on the Facebook account for at least 15 minutes. In many instances, the act results in the termination of the relationship. Some unauthorized entries into Facebook result in criminal charges.

The report states unauthorized use by insiders is so numerous ways must be found to prevent this type of entry and report it to the owner of the account. People are encouraged to change their passwords frequently and use an authenticator. And people should never give anyone else their passwords. The study’s authors suggest installing a passive log that would record the amount of time browsing took place. This would not stop anyone from using another person’s Facebook account but might serve as a deterrent.

In the end, there is only one solution to stop attacks from insiders; always log out when you leave your device.

SEE ALSO: How YouTube could capitalize on its rivals' mistakes, and conquer the future of TV

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In the early '90s, anthropologist Robin Dunbar proposed that a human being has the capacity to have up to 150 meaningful relationships. Dunbar did a study of human interaction on Facebook and found that number to be much lower. We only have 4 real friends, and 14 that care at all.

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"Friends" remains a bedrock of '90s and early '00s pop culture.

The show's main stars, like Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer, are still major players in Hollywood today. But what's really impressive is how many cameos by famous actors the series packed into its ten seasons.

From then-current celebrities like Brad Pitt and Susan Sarandon, to future notables like Mae Whitman and Cole Sprouse, it seems like almost everyone working in Hollywood between 1994 and 2004 was on "Friends" at one point or another.

There is, however, a notable absence of actors of color. Until Gabrielle Union in the seventh season, hardly any black actors had a significant role. After Union, Aisha Tyler has a prominent role in seasons nine and ten, and Craig Robinson didn't make his appearance until the tenth season.

Here are 56 guest stars you probably forgot about or missed altogether.

SEE ALSO: All the most shocking things about Scientology, according to Leah Remini's revealing show

The most famous "Friends" guest star is Brad Pitt, who appeared on the show while he was married to Jennifer Aniston. He was the president of the I Hate Rachel Green Club in high school.

Episode: Season 8, episode 9

Leah Remini auditioned for Monica, but didn't get the role. Instead, she was in an awkward scene where Joey helped her give birth.

Episode: Season 1, episode 23

Charlie Sheen shows up as Phoebe's old flame and Navy sailor, Ryan.

Episode: Season 2, episode 23.

I'm writing this guide for my kids as they grow up and go out into the world — but it's for anyone who wants to connect with others.

I'm writing it for my teenage self, who was shy and awkward and self-conscious. I'm writing it as a reminder to my current self, who is still those things.

But I've been lucky enough to make a handful of good friends, awesome people who are sucking the juice out of life, who wake up every day with gratitude and energy.

I'm lucky to have them, and it makes me reflect on what I've done right, and what they do all the time when making connections with people.

Here's what I've learned. It's not a comprehensive guide, nor will it work for everyone. I still hope it's useful.

Guidelines for making friends

In my experience, people (generally) want to be friends with other people who follow these general guidelines:

1. Be positive, not negative

While it's OK to share your struggles with people (I recommend it), if you're complaining all the time, and are generally negative about other people and life in general, then people get tired of the complaining and negativity. We have enough trouble in life without having friends who are negative all the time.

That said, a good friend will always listen when you're in need, so don't take this as "never complain." Instead, just generally try to be a positive person, and if you have struggles, also try to show how you're tackling those struggles with a positive outlook.

2. Be interested and a good listener 

Be interested in other people! Don't make the mistake of only wanting to talk about your stuff, and being bored and unimpressed with what other people are doing. I try to find the interesting in everyone, even if they lead a relatively uneventful life, there's something fascinating about them. When someone wants to talk, listen.

If they only talk about themselves all day and don't want to hear your stuff, then they probably aren't going to be a great friend, but still give them a chance and be interested for as long as you can.

3. Be excited about life, have energy 

We generally don't want a friend who is bored all the time. Someone who is excited about life, interested in things, has good energy … that's someone you'd by hyped to be around. Not super hyper, necessarily, but just containing a positive energy.

4. Do interesting things

If you're excited about life, you manifest that by doing new things, learning, creating, exploring, trying out new experiences, meeting new people. If you are this kind of person, you'll be interesting. If you shut out life, people might not be as interested.

5. Tell good stories

No one wants to listen to someone who tells long boring stories. After the first two such stories, people generally start tuning you out. So try to keep your stories shorter, unless you can tell people are interested. Find something interesting to hook their curiosity, and then draw them in with that curiosity until you satisfy it with a good ending.

Practice your storytelling when you meet people, and try to get better at it. It's not one of my strong points, to be honest, but I recognize that and am trying to be better.

6. Smile

I'm not saying you should have a fake smile, but a smile puts you in a friendly mood, versus frowning at someone. Don't smile all the time, or at inappropriate times. Just generally have a smiling disposition, as it signals that you like the person (also try to genuinely like the person, moving away from tendencies to judge them or complain about them).

7. Put yourself out there, be willing to try things 

Sing in public even if that scares you. Try new food, new experiences, new ideas. This open-mindedness attracts others who are looking to get the most out of life.

8. Be calm, not overly dramatic 

While it's great to have a lot of energy, people who are overly dramatic about little things can be a turn-off. So learn to react to most problems as if they're not a big deal (because they usually aren't), and handle them with calmness instead of overreacting.

9. Be authentic, don't try to show off

All of the above recommendations might seem like I'm recommending that you be someone you're not. I'm not recommending that at all. Instead, I want you to be an authentic version of yourself (there are lots of versions of ourselves) — but choose the version that is more in the directions recommended above, in general. If there is a positive and negative version of you, generally choose the positive version.

But most importantly, don't try to impress people all the time — if you're confident in yourself, you don't need to impress. Instead, be a genuine person, not just the “best you.” When this recommendation is in conflict with any of the above recommendations, choose this one.

10. Be confident and happy with yourself

This is just something that's good to do for yourself. Be happy with who you are, even the flaws. If you are, you can be confident that you're good enough when you meet someone else. People generally don't respect someone who is constantly harsh on themselves. How can you learn to be happy with yourself?

That's a whole other post, but in general, become aware of any tendency to be harsh and critical of yourself, and don't let yourself stew in those kinds of thoughts. Start to see the good in yourself, the genuine heart and caring nature, and let that be the story you tell yourself about yourself.

I don't claim to be an expert at any of this (my friend Tynan is a much better expert, and wrote an excellent book you should check out), but this is what I believe to be true right now.

I hope this helps, and if you find yourself lacking in any of these areas, see it not as confirmation that you suck, but as an exciting new area for you to explore.

SEE ALSO: How to make friends when you're a grown-up

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The INSIDER Summary:

• Hostelworld surveyed 12,000 people in 39 cities to find out which are the most social.
• Social cities are full of people that go out a lot, frequently use social media, and value face-to-face interactions.
• Gothenburg in Sweden ranked first, followed by Stockholm and Chicago.

Part of the fun of traveling to different cities is interacting with locals and meeting new people.

Some cities are better for this than others.

Hostelworld set out to find the world's most sociable cities by surveying 12,000 people in 39 cities across 28 countries.

The resulting rankings are based on each city's score in three different categories:

• Social activity: how often residents see friends, go out to eat or drink with friends, and use social media.
• Attitude to socializing: the value placed on face-to-face interactions, entertaining at home, and sociable versus selfish values.
• Social milieu: how often residents party, and how open, tolerant, and trusting they are.

Keep scrolling to see the cities that made the top 20.

20. Kuala Lampur, Malaysia

Eating out and drinking with friends is a popular social activity in Kuala Lumpur. The city ranked number four in terms of the average number of times its residents eat out per year, coming in behind big cities like New York City, Chicago, and Boston.

19. Berlin, Germany

Berlin residents put a lot of trust in one another. The city ranked second in the trust in friends' guidance category.

18. Milan, Italy

Milan ranked first in the openness index, meaning people in the city are open-minded — especially while traveling.

A high percentage of residents feels that engaging in the authentic culture of a place, along with partying, are the most important things to do while on a trip.

Prioritizing what's important is challenging in today's world. The split focus required to maintain a career and a home, not to mention a Facebook feed, can feel overwhelming.

Enter the science of what to prioritize, when.

For over 75 years, Harvard's Grant and Glueck study has tracked the physical and emotional well-being of two populations: 456 poor men growing up in Boston from 1939 to 2014 (the Grant Study), and 268 male graduates from Harvard's classes of 1939-1944 (the Glueck study).

Due to the length of the research period, this has required multiple generations of researchers. Since before WWII, they've diligently analyzed blood samples, conducted brain scans (once they became available), and pored over self-reported surveys, as well as actual interactions with these men, to compile the findings.

The conclusion? According to Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one thing surpasses all the rest in terms of importance:

"The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period."

Not how much is in your 401(k). Not how many conferences you spoke at — or keynoted. Not how many blog posts you wrote or how many followers you had or how many tech companies you worked for or how much power you wielded there or how much you vested at each.

No, the biggest predictor of your happiness and fulfillment overall in life is, basically, love.

Specifically, the study demonstrates that having someone to rely on helps your nervous system relax, helps your brain stay healthier for longer, and reduces both emotional as well as physical pain.

The data is also very clear that those who feel lonely are more likely to see their physical health decline earlier and die younger.

"It's not just the number of friends you have, and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship," says Waldinger. "It's the quality of your close relationships that matters."

What that means is this: It doesn't matter whether you have a huge group of friends and go out every weekend or if you're in a "perfect" romantic relationship (as if those exist). It's the quality of the relationships — how much vulnerability and depth exists within them; how safe you feel sharing with one another; the extent to which you can relax and be seen for who you truly are, and truly see another.

According to George Vaillant, the Harvard psychiatrist who directed the study from 1972 to 2004, there are two foundational elements to this: "One is love. The other is finding a way of coping with life that does not push love away."

Thus, if you've found love (in the form of a relationship, let's say) but you undergo a trauma like losing a job, losing a parent, or losing a child, and you don't deal with that trauma, you could end up "coping" in a way that pushes love away.

This is a very good reminder to prioritize not only connection but your own capacity to process emotions and stress. If you're struggling, get a good therapist. Join a support group. Invest in a workshop. Get a grief counselor. Take personal growth seriously so you are available for connection.

Because the data is clear that, in the end, you could have all the money you've ever wanted, a successful career, and be in good physical health, but without loving relationships, you won't be happy.

The next time you're scrolling through Facebook instead of being present at the table with your significant other, or you're considering staying late at the office instead of getting together with your close friend, or you catch yourself working on a Saturday instead of going to the farmer's market with your sister, consider making a different choice.

"Relationships are messy and they're complicated," acknowledges Waldinger. But he's adamant in his research-backed assessment: "The good life is built with good relationships."

SEE ALSO: A Harvard psychologist says too many people think about happiness all wrong

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It's hard to say exactly why you like someone.

Maybe it's their goofy smile; maybe it's their razor-sharp wit; or maybe it's simply that they're easy to be around. You just like them. 

But scientists generally aren't satisfied with answers like that, and they've spent years trying to pinpoint the exact factors that draw one person to another.

Below, we've rounded up some of their most intriguing findings. Read on for insights that will cast your current friendships in a new light — and will help you form better relationships, faster.

SEE ALSO: 12 things you're doing that make people dislike you immediately

1. Copy the person you're with

This strategy is called mirroring, and involves subtly mimicking another person's behavior. When talking to someone, try copying their body language, gestures, and facial expressions.

In 1999, New York University researchers documented the "chameleon effect," which occurs when people unconsciously mimic each other's behavior. That mimicry facilitates liking.

Researchers had 72 men and women work on a task with a partner. The partners (who worked for the researchers) either mimicked the other participant's behavior or didn't, while researchers videotaped the interactions. At the end of the interaction, the researchers had participants indicate how much they liked their partners.

Sure enough, participants were more likely to say that they liked their partner when their partner had been mimicking their behavior.

2. Spend more time around the people you're hoping to befriend

According to the mere-exposure effect, people tend to like other people who are familiar to them. 

In one example of this phenomenon, psychologists at the University of Pittsburgh had four women pose as students in a university psychology class. Each woman showed up in class a different number of times. When experimenters showed male students pictures of the four women, the men demonstrated a greater affinity for those women they'd seen more often in class — even though they hadn't interacted with any of them.

3. Compliment other people

People will associate the adjectives you use to describe other people with your personality. This phenomenon is called spontaneous trait transference.

One study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that this effect occurred even when people knew certain traits didn't describe the people who had talked about them.

According to Gretchen Rubin, author of the book "The Happiness Project,""whatever you say about other people influences how people see you."

If you describe someone else as genuine and kind, people will also associate you with those qualities. The reverse is also true: If you are constantly trashing people behind their backs, your friends will start to associate the negative qualities with you as well.

The INSIDER Summary:

• Social anxiety is anxiety that is brought about by being in situations with other people.
• People with social anxiety avoid social settings because their bodies send signals of danger.
• It's treatable with controlled exposure through cognitive behavioral therapy.

Do you have a friend that keeps canceling plans? Don't get annoyed — empathize, because they may have social anxiety.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, anxiety disorders affect 18% of adults in the US. It's highly treatable, yet only one third of those 40 million people receive the professional help they need.

Kristin Becker is a therapist and MSW intern at NYC Cognitive Therapy who helps treat anxiety and depression through individual and group therapy. She spoke to INSIDER about how your friend's perpetual flakiness could be a sign of a more serious underlying issue, and what you can do to help support them as they work through it.

Social anxiety is anxiety that is brought about by being in situations with other people.

"Like most mental health issues, it can be seen on a spectrum," Becker said.

Many people experience social anxiety at some point in their lives, like when giving a speech in front of a crowd. Social anxiety disorder, however, is debilitating. It keeps people from doing the things they want to do, whether that's going to a party, speaking up at work, or dating.

People with social anxiety avoid social settings because their bodies send signals of danger.

Anxiety is an involuntary physical feeling of danger in one's body. When someone feels anxious and avoids a situation, their brain learns that that feels good and wants to repeat it.

"These pathways in our brain are very easy to reinforce and they tend to grow and get stronger, so they start to avoid more and more to make themselves feel comfortable and safe," she said.

That's why people with social anxiety tend to cancel plans at the last minute, or just don't show up at all.

When they first made plans with you, they may have thought that they could handle it and that everything would be fine. They want to think of themselves as capable. But as reality sets in, that temporary self-assurance erodes.

"As the event draws closer, the thoughts that it won't go well start to become stronger," she said. "That kicks into the physical feelings of anxiety, and all they want is relief from that physical sensation. At the last minute they may just not show up or they may call and cancel because that offers them relief at the last moment."

If you think a friend has social anxiety, gently ask why they don't ever seem to want to go out — and don't judge their answer.

They might have a good reason for avoiding company (or be super disorganized), so it's best not to assume that a flaky friend has social anxiety disorder. But if they seem to harbor negative thoughts and imagine the worst, it could be the reason they're never around.

"If someone has thoughts that are focused on negative ideas about how other people think about them and judge them that don't seem realistic or accurate, they probably have social anxiety," Becker said.

To support a friend with social anxiety, help them reframe a situation they're afraid of and show confidence in their ability to cope.

One way to do this is to help them visualize the setting that they're anxious about in order to widen the negative lens they're viewing it with. Who's going to be there? Is there someone they look forward to seeing? What's going to happen? What kind of food or drinks will there be?

"They're just seeing this dark hole of bad possibilities," Becker said. "Try to flesh out the story for them, and the picture of what's going to happen."

If you're feeling a little nervous too, you can validate their feelings while checking in with yourself to make sure you don't get sucked into their fears.

You can also use humor to remind them of their positive qualities by saying something like, "If you don't come, who's going to tell everyone about [insert thing they're really savvy about]?"

Ultimately, you want to help them face the situation rather than avoid it, but without overwhelming them and causing them to shut down. It requires curiosity and patience, but it can be done.

Social anxiety is treatable through cognitive behavioral therapy.

"The way we do that is by exposing people to the feared situation, and we do it in a very gradual way," Becker said. "If going to the party is their absolute worst nightmare, but meeting a friend for coffee is doable but not great, then we're going to start with meeting a friend for coffee."

This repeated exposure provides evidence to the brain that these situations are survivable.

"By gradually moving up the scale of feared situations, the brain learns that it is safe, and the person is able to not only tolerate but ultimately enjoy the social situations they once feared," she said.

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Anyone who has experienced getting a puppy knows it can be hard work. Owners often refer to their pets as "fur babies," which makes a lot of sense considering how much attention puppies require when you first get them.

Puppies need time to settle into their new home and bond with their owners. They've probably just been taken from their mothers and introduced to a brand new environment, so there's likely to be a lot of crying. And that's before you can even think about house-training.

As it turns out, some companies sympathise with this transition and offer what's known as "pawternity leave."In fact, research from Petplan found that 5% of owners have been offered paid leave from their job to adjust to their pet owning duties.

These are some of the companies which give you a few days off to bond with your new best friend.

Mars Petcare

Mars Petcare was one of the first companies to offer pawternity leave. The company offers its employees ten hours of paid leave when they get a new pet, and they can bring them into the office after that.

BitSol Solutions

A tech company based in Manchester called BitSol Solutions offers its employees a full week of paid leave if they get a new pet. According to the Metro, company owner Greg Buchanan said: "Pets are like babies nowadays, so why shouldn't staff have some time off when they arrive?"

BrewDog

Scottish brewery company BrewDog has just started offering a week of paid leave. The reason given on the BrewDog website is that they just really love dogs. Also, it aims to be "the best company to work for, ever."

We all want to be liked.

It's safe to say that most people want to be liked at work, too — especially given that we spend an average of 1,353 hours a year on the job in the US.

Forming good relations with your boss and coworkers can also be a huge boon to your career. Those personal connections can help you advance within your organization, and provide you with a network for later on in your career.

Of course, some people will decry any attempt to achieve office popularity as shallow or a waste of time. And it's true that your work should always come first — schmoozing will only get you so far, in most fields.

Here's a tip, though. If you want to get ahead, it's important to be good at your job. It also helps to not be hated or ignored by everyone in the office.

With that in mind, here are some tips on how to make your coworkers like you:

1. Ask questions

People love to talk about themselves — it's human nature. Use this fact to your advantage by asking questions about the other person's life, projects, and interests.

"Each person is their own favorite subject and everything you say they will relate their own experience," personal branding strategist Jane Anderson wrote in a LinkedIn post.

2. Be complimentary, but don't go overboard

Don't be stingy with your compliments, but recognize that scarcity tends to increase value.

Writing for Business Insider, Shana Lebowitz broke down a 1965 University of Minnesota study that found that "people like to feel that they've won you over in some capacity."

That means sticking to the occasional sincere positive comment, rather than a constant barrage of flattery.

3. Pay attention to body language

Reading the situation before starting a conversation is key to steering it in the right direction and building rapport. "Watch all the non-verbal cues and body language," Anderson wrote in her LinkedIn post. "Look for micro expressions and their eye contact."

For example, if someone is clearly in a hurry, it's not the time to strike up a leisurely conversation.

4. Be nice

This point's obvious, but important nonetheless. If you want people to like you, try to be a genuinely pleasant person to be around.

In "Boss Bitch: A Simple 12-Step Plan to Take Charge of Your Career," Nicole Lapin says that genuinely being nice and looking for the best in people is crucial part of building workplace friendships.

"You don’t have to be passive-aggressively sweet, but find something genuinely awesome that they did and either ask them for help with it or thank them for it," she says. "Everyone, even the nastiest of them, has good qualities. Find them."

"People generally love sharing their opinions and teaching you things they are good at," she adds. "Relish in the time they are relishing in themselves. Then, notice something they did that even in the slightest way helped you or your team. Did they bring cupcakes into a meeting? Say, 'Hey, thank you for doing that! They were thoughtful and delicious.' Pay the kindness forward and you’ll get that karma coming back your way."

5. Do your homework

Stalking your coworkers is definitely a bad idea. Still, it's probably smart to do some light research — just to figure out what they're all about. You might even find that you have mutual friends or interests that could make for good ice-breakers. Lapin writes that this trick can even apply to winning over rivals in the workplace.

"The more you break the ice with them, the more these tidbits will help you swim yourself back into good graces," she says. "And learning more about them will likely soften your heart to seeing them as a person and not just a work foe, which will motivate you to make nice faster and hopefully more genuinely."

6. Act natural

Don't go crazy trying to win everyone over. Desperation's easy to spot, and not a good look on anyone.

Treat your efforts to connect with your colleagues less like a quest for office popularity, and more as an opportunity to expand your network and make new friends. According to Lapin, the best strategy is to bond over shared activities, like coffee dates.

"Chances are you actually work with some pretty cool people," Lapin says. "I mean, your employer had good taste in hiring you, right? You might know some of your coworkers from meetings or in passing, but do you really know them to a level that they could have your back or vice versa? Getting to have-your-back status at work takes more than just a smile from across the table at a meeting — but not much more. Requesting a coffee 'date' or 'power lunch' at work can be the beginning of a beautiful corporate friendship."

Emmie Martin contributed to a previous version of this post.

SEE ALSO: 7 signs you're too smart for your job

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Despite what the Spice Girls would have us believe, it's not true that friendship never ends.

Research actually confirms what we've all experienced: most middle school friendships don't even last a year. And while some adult friendships last throughout life, some make us feel like we've been sentenced for life. So how do you know when to make a break for freedom?

Sometimes it's obvious: a so-called friend steals your money or your partner, or in the case of Taylor Swift, your back-up dancers. Now we've got bad blood, indeed.

But sometimes it's not obvious: do you tough it out with a friend struggling with addiction? Can you stay friends with someone whose values undergo a radical change? Do you leave behind a boring friend or remind yourself true friendship isn't about entertainment? And of course, what to do when a friendship starts off strong and just fizzles? Nothing happened, but there's just nothing there anymore. Is it OK to let go?

Fundamentally, you don't need a checklist of legit and non-legit reasons to end a friendship. Go with your gut and your heart. That said, here are seven questions to ask yourself to make those fuzzy situations a little bit clearer:

1. Does it feel genuine, or like a transaction?

Some people are friends with you because of what you can do for them. Red flags include friends who repeatedly try to sell you something, ask to borrow money again and again, or keep tabs on favors. ("You owe me housesitting because I took care of your dog.") These friends routinely cross the line between friendship and business.

The transaction might also be more subtle — you're friends with them because they admire you with cartoon hearts in their eyes and in return you get a shot to your self-esteem. You're friends because they hold you back just enough that you can blame them, rather than yourself, for not accomplishing your dreams.

In sum, if you leave every interaction with an urge to wash your hands, look closer and see if you might using them or being used yourself. In the end, you want friends, not an entourage.

2. Are you holding each other back from getting healthy?

Back in 2007, a now-famous study in the New England Journal of Medicine tracked the spread of obesity through a "deeply interconnected social network" of more than 12,000 people, underscoring that social ties link to health behavior. 

Turns out healthy (or unhealthy) habits can circulate within a smaller friend group, too. For instance, unhealthy psychological habits like a tendency to put each other down or to complain constantly can spread from friend to friend. Or unhealthy body image or disordered eating habits might be a culture in your circle.

More seriously, if you're battling a substance abuse problem normalized by a friend group ("If we all drink until we black out, doesn't that make it normal?"), it's difficult yet crucial to drop friends. Indeed, showing up at the same bar with the same people will inevitably lead to the same behavior.

Ideally, friends work together to eat better, team up to exercise, or weather the horrors of stopping smoking together. But if your friend pulls you down, pressures you to drink or smoke after you've made it clear you're trying to change, or otherwise ridicules your attempts to take care of yourself, it may be time to distance yourself.

3. Are you being manipulated?

Manipulation, fundamentally, is managing the emotions of others, and not in a good way.  It's sulking to get someone to feel bad, it's being especially nice to butter someone up.

It's really hard to put your finger on whether or not it's happening, because being the target of manipulation is like being the proverbial frog in the slowly boiling water — it's only after you're out that you realize the full extent of what was happening.

But there are clues: your friendship may feel unnecessarily intricate. You're at a loss for words when others ask you about the friendship. "It's complicated," is the best you can muster.

Another clue: without quite realizing it, you've changed for the worse as a result of this friendship (less happy, less secure, less confident) but somehow you're the one always doing the apologizing. Or you may just feel like something is always off. You even ask your friend "what's wrong?" but the answer (or the resulting silent treatment) just makes you more confused.

Any of these clues may be signs of emotional manipulation. Indeed, a 2016 study unsurprisingly found that manipulation hung together with lower levels of important friendship characteristics like being able to express personal thoughts and feelings, providing comfort when needed, simply being fun to be with, and always being there for each other (which, by the way, in research-speak is called "reliable alliance").

4. Are you friends simply because they're similar to you? 

Sometimes we force a friendship when we have a similar background and similar lives. Similarity somehow makes us think we should be friends. But it doesn't matter if you went to the same elementary school or look like spitting images of each other.

What's really important? Well, a 2012 study assessed over 1,400 people; some of them had friendships with people of a different race, sexual orientation, or gender, and some of them did not. Those with cross-category friendships placed less value on having similar lives, values, and experiences as their friends. What did they focus on instead? The true building blocks of friendship: trust, honesty, respect, and being there for each other.

5. Do you do all the work in the relationship?

Do any of these sound familiar? You justify selfish and inconsiderate behavior: "I'm sure he meant to clean up this mess he left when he borrowed my car; he was probably just busy." You initiate all the ideas, make all the plans, and are responsible for changing them if they're not convenient for your friend: "Oh, you decided to meet a Tinder date tonight? Um, sure, we can reschedule." And finally, you do all the emotional work — talking them down, shoring them up: "Of course you're amazing. Sure, let's talk about all the ways you rock. Again."

If you're doing all the work in the relationship, you're an employee, not a friend. Time to consider going on strike.

6. Can you count on each other?

This one may sound cliche, but it's important. Friends shouldn't be like your iPod earphones — never around when you need them but getting tangled up in things when you're not.

The research on friendship is rife with words like "reciprocal,""mutual," and "shared," and if none of those come to mind when you think about a particular friendship, it might be time to back away.

Indeed, all those graduation night songs about "I'll be on your side forevermore" and "I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on," while cheesy, are about more than swaying with arms around each other's shoulders. Good friendships represent an equilibrium of mutual support. Even dissimilarities between good friends manage to balance each other out.

Of course, over time the balance will shift back and forth — you will inevitably have a major life crisis at the same time your friend gets a promotion, but good friends are there to share in your successes and your struggles. You don't have to link arms and sing, but you should feel sure than in your friendship, winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call.

7. Can you be yourself?

Let's end with the big one. You're not the same everywhere you go — you behave differently at a job interview or visiting grandma than when hanging out with your friends, but if you feel pulled to change or hide who you are, or you feel ashamed after hanging out with your friend, it may be time to try on other friendships.

To wrap up, decades of research and millennia of common sense tell us that connecting with true friends is one of the best things we can do for our health and happiness.

Breaking up with less-than-true friends is a tough decision. Indeed, there must have been a time when you were good friends to each other, or you wouldn't be in struggling with the question to begin with.

Now, friends will come and go from your life. Some will be context-dependent, like a work friend or a school friend. These are all fine. Not every friend needs to be a Golden Girls-style pal and confidante. But real friends shouldn't hurt, manipulate, or use you, or pressure you to be someone you're not. A true friend inspires you to be better, happier, healthier, and more "yourself."

SEE ALSO: Here's exactly what to say when you've decided you don't want to be friends anymore

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The workplace is a fertile spot for relationship development because—let’s face it—we spend more time in the office than we do at home.

But it’s also the perfect place to cruise for professional allies because right beside our cubicles are dozens of other people who share our interests, schedules, and the all-important access to the boss, points out Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., psychologist and friendship expert.

Bonus: If you are able to snag a work friend or two, “a confidante in the office will not only make the day go by faster but it will help you enjoy your work a lot more,” says millennial career expert Jill Jacinto. Who doesn’t want that? So here’s how to score friends and professional allies at work.

1. Take advantage of group outings

Whether your company hosts a weekly happy hour, optional town-hall-style meetings, or posts open positions for its softball team, Jacinto says you should say “yes” more often than “no” to these invitations in order to make new work friends.

That’s because “these scenarios pull you out of your work bubble and can connect you with people in many different departments,” she says. “This is a perfect opportunity to learn more about your company but also find friends across the company.”

2. Resist gossiping

Gabbing about the weird poster Anne has pinned to her cubicle while you’re at the communal coffee spot may seem like a good ice breaker, but Levine says that participating in—or worse, initiating—office gossip can stunt the growth of work relationships.

“Be cautious not to spread rumors or gossip,” she warns, “because they can spread like wildfire through a workplace. They can poison the environment and reflect badly on you.”

3. Eat in the communal kitchen

You’re surrounded—probably, quite literally—at work. So, who could blame you if your instinct is to grab a solo lunch, or sip your coffee while you hide in the stairwell? “But slow down,” encourages Jacinto. Stop by the communal kitchen on your way out and “chit chat with your coworkers—ask them about their days, weekend plans, their favorite Keurig flavor or lunch spot,” she says. “Just get to know them.”

4. Offer to help

“If your coworker sends you a Slack message and wants your advice, take advantage of them reaching out to build a relationship,” advises Jacinto. How so? Instead of replying in kind—whether on Slack or via email—offer to set up a face-to-face meeting so that you can take on the issue together, Jacinto says.

Then, “remember to insert some chit chat, like, ‘Did you watch the new season of #Girlboss on Netflix?’ or ‘Have you heard about that Frye Festival fiasco?’ or ‘Any vacation plans coming up?’” she suggests.

5. Ask a coworker on a (nonromantic) date

No, we don’t mean in a romantic sense! But ask a colleague to get out of the office for a coffee break, or see if she might be willing to grab a drink or a bite to eat after work, suggests Jacinto. “Placing yourselves in spaces outside the office can help your friendship grow,” she explains. “People tend to be more relaxed outside of the office and let their guard down. Just don’t spend the whole time talking about work.”

Of course, if an outside get-together does turn from friendship to romance—it can happen accidentally!—then “tread very slowly,” warns Levine. After all, “if things don’t work out, you can’t get ‘divorced,’” she says. “You’ll have to be with that person every day.”

6. Find common ground beyond your cubicles

As Jacinto mentioned above, a big key to making work friends is to actually talk about things other than work. If you can get to know coworkers’ interests outside the office, you may find some common ground on which to build a friendship, she says. “I had a coworker who I always traded music with and this led us becoming friends and going to concerts together,” Jacinto shares.

7. Remember: not all friendships last forever

If you make new friends at work, realize that not each one of them will always be in your corner. “Some workplace friendships do turn sour,” warns Levine. “If that happens, you need to remain civil and professional. You don’t want to let the breakup interfere with your work or make co-workers feel uncomfortable.”

SEE ALSO: Help! None of my new coworkers will talk to me

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